The highest result of education is tolerance.
– Hellen Keller

Tolerance (tolerantia in latin) means to bear a burden, put up with, endure, forebear, allow to exist. It is considered a virtue, a moral obligation which involves respect and consideration for the other person.

“ Free from bigotry, allowing different races, religions, practices, and opinions to co-exist, it is a pragmatic formula for the functioning of society, ” writes Hans Oberdiek in his wholesome book Tolerance: Forbearance and Acceptance

A century ago, Einstein, in foresight said : “ Laws alone cannot secure freedom of expression; in order that every man may present his views without penalty, there must be a spirit of tolerance in the population. ”

The 13th-century philosopher Thomas Acquinas said that tolerance should not be boundless. “ If someone has an ineffective belief,  it may be tolerated, but tolerance should not be extended to any of the evil or harmful tendencies. ”

Ideally, if the tolerance between the parties is mutual, this relational norm serves as a silent agreement and secures personal boundaries. Tolerance consoles peace and allows continuity, especially in contexts where differences are sharp and conflicts can flare up in everyday life. The variable quality and quantity of tolerance is determined by the circumstances, the type of relationship, the character, the benefit-harm balance, and the conscience of the person. According to Montaigne, tolerance is humility. It prevents one from falling into a self-righteous arrogance.

Tolerance and self-actualization

The person who realizes his own weaknesses and defaults can better tolerate the other person’s weaknesses. For this reason, tolerance notably relies on self-knowledge. It also allows others to have their own subjective experiences and live the lives they desire. Any attempt to impose or change a person’s subjective reality can cause him to lose his secure private space. Yet, every human being needs personal space to exist with his opinions and actions. Only in this space of tolerance can a person learn from his mistakes and advance on the path of self-knowledge. Thus tolerance becomes a basic requirement for self-actualization.

Montaigne’s approach is compatible with Goethe’s discourse:

I leave everyone to follow their own bent so I can be free to follow mine.

It emphasizes the practical benefits of mutual tolerance despite differences in views, values ​​and lifestyles. Montaigne’s  humanity and his  ” deep dislike for oppression in the name of religion ”  corresponds to Descartes’ main argument that ” morality demands that we be generous to others “.

It is arrogance and vanity that incites evil. Bigots destroy freedom and thus self-esteem by allowing their impulsive passions run wild. Taking the side of reason, Descartes argues that :

“ Our beliefs are worthless unless we arrive at them through reason. But reason can never be coerced. So we must tolerate – even if merely tolerate – those with whom we find ourselves in sharp disagreement. ”

The paradox of tolerance :

Voltaire answers the question “ What is tolerance ? ”

It is the consequence of humanity. We are all formed of frailty and error; let us pardon reciprocally each other’s folly – that is the first law of nature. It is related to humility in the sense that it is better to work out your imperfections as opposed to lecturing or criticizing others about their faults and failings.

On the other hand tolerance is not unlimited. For example the tolerance of oppression in a society becomes oppression itself. That is defined as the tolerance paradox – tolerance of intolerance – which implies the motif to regulate and govern the consciences of other people.

Persecution occurs when tolerance of intolerance reaches the level of being intolerably harmful to the individual or society.

Then we ask the critical question.

When and where are the limits of tolerance drawn?

Determining where to draw the line between acceptable and intolerable is often difficult and controversial. It varies depending on the situation, the nature of relationship, and values. But no matter who, one knows when the limit is exceeded. One criterion is the moral space between the person and the other whom he tolerates. If that space is repeatedly occupied by the disrespectful, “ intolerable ” actions of the other and/or causing material damage, then it is definitely time to reevaluate the limits of tolerance. As the boundaries of selfhood intersect with this area, external crossings leading to psychological, or material/physical damage will become unbearable. Tolerating these conditions leads to persecution.

 Inculcating tolerance in sensitive and challenging situations :

When we hear our conscience saying “ Tolerate him, ” we may choose to tolerate the other for reasons of moral or family obligation, respect, or  self-interest. However, our ego, dissatisfied with our decision, demands in rebellion: “ How dare you do this to yourself, are you stupid? Is it worth it, don’t you see what he’s doing ? etc… ” Under the incessant pressures of the ego, we will be pushed away from our intention to tolerate. Depending on the intensity and history of our relationship, negative feelings and thoughts may rise within to invade us, and the internal conflict may be reflected in external tension and unkind behaviors. In this case, tolerating the “ intolerable ” requires self-knowledge and self-mastery. By transcending our imperious ego, we can calm the inner rebellion with the desire to serve a higher spiritual purpose. It takes effort.

A few practical methods that facilitate tolerance, emulated from the experiences of Ancient Greek philosophers and a few wise thinkers who have influenced our age:

• Letting go of our expectations of the other instills tolerance in us; liberating oneself from expectations is the golden key to self-confidence and happiness.
• Finding even one positive point about the person we wish to tolerate helps us to be more tolerant of him.
• Turning our gaze towards ourselves to acknowledge our own faults and weaknesses silences our ego and quells possible riots of intolerance.
• At a higher level of consciousness, repelling our negative thoughts about the person we tolerate restores our inner calm, enthuses the spirit of tolerance and return to us in the form of positive effects on our daily lives.

Duygu Bruce