To do good, which, as we all know, is universal, is in the heart of being human.
Yet we find it difficult to do even small acts of kindness like lending an ear to a distressed friend, greeting the gardener at the park, offering coffee to a subordinate, or paying attention to the needs of a family member whose presence we take for granted. Simply because we naturally live in our ego, self-occupied with primarily satisfying our own pleasure and achievement needs in professional, social and familial contexts. We are programmed to see ourselves in the center of the universe, where 99% of the time we are restricted with the ceaseless demands of the ego, to engage in selfless acts requires effort. 

Yet experience and scientific studies show that doing a small act of kindness brings a particular joy and peace to one’s heart, and infuses a positive effect on the doer as well as the recipient. Among all the memories we keep, that of an act of kindness that we once received is among our most vivid memories. Its heart-warming effect does not fade away. When we do good we feel a sense of accomplishment, joy and dignity. It is lucidly described in the handbook of Ethics of Small Acts: 

The sweet flavor of the small act that counts remains intact as a sweet memory that resists time –unlike the pleasures of the ego which generally lose their luster over time.

The pleasant sensation of the small act done serves as the seed to do the second act of a similar quality. “This is a move towards a higher self, to the awareness of a self that is deeper,” stated the influential French philosopher Henri Bergson.
In those moments of higher awareness one can evaluate one’s intention underlying the act –whether the intention is to gain recognition, is disguised as some sort of material interest, or is accomplished for a purpose higher than that. Professor Elahi, known for his distinguished medical and academic career and his notable books on ethics and spirituality, recites: 

The value of an act depends upon the intention behind it, not on appearances.

A small act done for attaining peace of mind bears the right intention and has an empowering aura which permeates the doer and the recipient, and its repercussions emanates across society. The positive sensation experienced in the act of doing good is self-motivating in the sense that the doer is willing to accomplish do yet another. The same potentiating effect is commonly found in the recipient. Studies show that the person who received help is likely to extend help to another. 

One practical way to identify the intention underlying the act is the test of discretion. Whether we choose to remain discrete or we want our good deeds known by others to nourish our glory in explicit or disguised manners reveals the quality of our true intention. In Matthew 6:3, Jesus said: “Let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth, for that thine alms may be in secret; and thy Father who seethe in secret shall recompense thee”. 

As much as the reward of social recognition satisfies my ego, doing a small act of goodness for divine contentment has an immeasurable value for my higher self. Liberated from the immediate pleasure-seeking demands of the ego, an act performed with the intention of divine contentment enables me to fill my basket of savings.  E. Kubler Ross, known for her dedicated work in palliative care units of hospitals, summed up the common plot drawn in her conversations with the patients nearing the end of their lives. They said: 

What counts in the other world is how did you lead your life through love in your relation with the other people. There is within each one us a potential for doing good beyond imagining…that is what we keep with us and take with us when we depart.

Another well-known test is the measure of our reaction faced with ingratitude in return for our good act. Driven by our disappointed ego we may harbor negative feelings to the “ungrateful” person whom we have done good, and who have not paid us any thankful compliments in return. We can trace the rising expectations of our ego faced with subtler forms of ingratitude. A friend from the work place whom I have supported in her days of sickness may verbally express her thanks but neglect to include me in an important group of colleagues upon her return to office. I can hear the objections of my ego “After all the support that I have given her !…” This typical objection triggered by my disappointment reveals the quality of my intention and my investment to the needs of the ego embedded in my act of goodness. The extent of our gross attachment to the pay back outcome of our small good act may sweep us beyond disappointment – we may grow resentment and even vengeance when faced with ingratitude. 

Unfulfilled expectations attached to the act of goodness will open the door for ego to step up with endless excuses (“It is not me alone who is going to save the world!”) and consequently may curb our motivation to do good (“It is not worth the trouble…”). This state of mind would hinder the practice our humanity and blur the intention to do good for the sake of nurturing the higher dimension of our own being. When faced with the resistance of our ego in performing a good act we need to make an extra effort to check our intention and to detach from the outcome. Professor Elahi recommends: 

At the beginning, we have to try to convince ourselves that seeking divine satisfaction is the surest and fastest method. Through persistence, we will gradually notice encouraging results that will motivate us to persevere.

When we can pause the seamless demands of the ego in the context of doing a small act of kindness, even momentarily, we can reach our deeper consciousness and connect with the sublime part of our true being. The connection experienced in the moment of truth enlightens us, no matter how small the act is. At that point of awareness, we feel more serene, liberated, and detached. We are happier. 

Duygu Bruce