The childhood of the human race is far from over. We have a long way to go before most people understand that what they do for others is just as important to their well-being as what they do for themselves. – William T. Powell

“Compassion is a practically acquired knowledge, like dancing. You must do it and practice diligently day by day,” says Karen Armstrong, the pioneer of Charter for Compassion.  Daniel Goleman, psychologist and author of emotional intelligence, writes that “true compassion means not only feeling another’s pain but also being moved to help relieve it.”

Daniel Batson, social psychologist known for his work on altruism, highlights putting compassion in action  :

Feeling compassion is one thing; acting on it is another. When we encounter people   in need or distress, we often imagine what their experience is like. This is a great developmental milestone—to take the perspective of another. It is not only one of   the most human of capacities; it is one of the most important aspects of our ability to make moral judgments and fulfill the social contract. When we take the other’s perspective, we feel an empathic state of concern and are motivated to address that person’s needs and enhance that person’s welfare, sometimes even at our own expense. When experienced, compassion overwhelms selfish concerns and motivates altruistic behavior.

The empathy-altruism hypothesis of Batson sets forth that when we realize the affliction of the other, feelings of empathy and tenderness are kindled in us. Then they activate altruistic behavior to help the other feel better. Psychopathic personalities rarely experience this feeling. Even if one expects a tangible reward in return for his altruistic act, it subsides after a number of spontaneous and sincere acts. It becomes like second nature, the expectation of gain wanes. What remains after is a sense of joy.

Batson explains the flare of emotion that motivates altruistic action :

We often help others because the suffering, anguish, or emotional pain we sense in the other is reflected in us – we recognize the familiar human condition, not only cognitively, but emotionally as well. Thus, empathy leaves in us this substrate of discomfort when we feel the needs and sufferings of others as our own.

Neuroscience explains the projection of the other’s distress on us as a function of the mirror neurons. They activate similar emotional pathways on the beholder. If the reaction is altruistic behavior, brain orders to release oxytocin and feelings of joy arise. It fires the same parts of the brain that turn on when a desire is fulfilled and pleasure is gained. The emotional reality is, when we seek to alleviate the discomfort of others of others, we also do it to alleviate our own.

Compassion can be cultivated by small acts, progressivley it will enhance the feeling of own self-worthiness followed by the belief that we have the capacity or resources to change something for better.

Small acts of goodwill   reach beyond helping others, they create more favorable social environments. One who receives compassion becomes prone to extend it. As the word has it “ what goes around comes around. ”  The effects of compassion expand, the giver and receiver, all wins.

Batson concludes :

In this context, it is easier for the authentic to prevail over the superficial, and for us to be able to establish more meaningful connections.

On the other hand, individualistic, egoistic and narcissistic attitudes generate hostility and suspicion. He who does not empathize with the needs of others acts against the very essence of who we are : we are social creatures wired to connect.

Duygu Bruce